The meme, but done my way

With apologies to lmichelle599, bugchicklv, & sgflutegirl.


What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
Minor vandalism.

What is the bug that when you touch it, curls into a ball?
Something I'm not about to touch.

What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
Champagne.

What do you call gym shoes?
I don't call them because they won't come anyway, but the left one is Stinky and the right one is Holey.

What do you say to address a group of people?
Hello, intellectual subordinates.

What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
Kill it!Kill it!Kill it!Kill it!

What do you call your grandparents?
Well, I can't call them because they've passed on.

What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
The one thing that men can't drive or park properly.

What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
Crazy weather...where's the rainbow?

What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
Husband.

What do you call the area between the two sides of a boulevard?
Free parking spot.

Main seating furniture in the living room?
That hairy spot where the dog sleeps.